How to Get Out of a Marriage That Just Isn’t Working

Everyone says their vows thinking that their marriage will last forever, but divorce is more prevalent than ever. We now know that around 50 percent of all married couples get divorced, and many of those separations are quite messy. While divorces will never be easy, spending some time planning your separation is going to help you avoid many of the most common mistakes.

Get Your Finances in Order

The financial aspect of getting a divorce can be extremely complicated, and it is often one of the primary points of contention. Even if you are relatively confident of how the assets will be split, you should have an emergency fund in case anything goes wrong. You also need to start collecting and organizing all of your financial information including bank statements, loan payments, and balances on your credit cards. That information could be invaluable if your divorce turns into a legal battle. Hopefully it won’t, but that depends on how each person approaches the situation, which is incredibly delicate. Just be sure to do the appropriate actions when the time is right to do them.  You will appreciate the result.

Approach Your Spouse the Right Way

Just because you have prepared yourself for a divorce doesn’t mean that your spouse is on the same page. No matter how rocky the marriage has been, they might assume that you will be together forever. When you tell them you want a divorce, you should be completely straightforward with your information and leave emotions out of it. Ideally, you want to be calm, kind, and direct. Just remember, this is a serious subject and it probably isn’t going to be easy to get through.  Feel out your spouse’s feelings and tell them at the right time, preferably when they aren’t too emotional.

Contact an Attorney

Contacting a divorce attorney could actually take quite a bit of guesswork out of your divorce. These legal professionals, such as Marlene Dancer Adams, are trained to help make your separation as quick and stress-free as possible. If there comes a point when you and your spouse are arguing over assets, then your attorney can help you come up with a fair compromise for all parties involved. Remember, be willing to compromise, this makes things easier if you go in with an open mind.

Learn to Swallow Your Pride

After building a life with someone, a clean separation can be quite difficult. Once you realize that you would like a divorce, you need to accept the fact that everything might not go your way. Instead of squabbling over minor possessions or blaming everything on your spouse, it is generally a better idea to swallow your pride and move on. You are certainly entitled to some of your mutual assets, but turning every minor disagreement into a heated argument is only going to bring this process to a grinding halt.

A divorce can take a major toll on your emotional health, career, and finances. That is why it is so important to spend some time going over all of your options so that you aren’t caught in a lengthy and expensive legal battle that stretches on for years.

Rachelle Wilber

Rachelle Wilber is a freelance writer living in the San Diego, California area.

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