While every parent longs to protect their children from the harsh realities of life, the truth is they can’t completely do so. Helping your children to face and deal with loss and change is, however, one of the very best gifts a parent can give their child.
There are some things your children will simply have to face, cope and deal with that are going to be hard, painful and difficult and there is not much you can do about that. What you can do is help them cope and deal as best they can. Here are three ways to help your children deal with serious family situations.
Be Straight With Them
No one wants to have to tell a child that mommy and daddy are getting a divorce or that grandma died. In some cases, it can be difficult to even find a way to help them understand what death or loss or divorce even are, since they may be too young to understand.
Sometimes, parents feel that because children are too young to really grasp what something means, they should simply not be told. This is almost always a mistake. While they may not know exactly what is wrong, they will know that something is.
The longer you keep it from them, the more time you give their imaginations to kick into high gear. Most often the truth is far better than what they can imagine.
Give Them Time To Ask Questions
While they may not have any questions at first, the questions may eventually come. Do your best to be there to answer them and be as straightforward as possible. Their questions will also give you some idea of how they are coping and dealing with things, so do encourage them to ask any questions they might have.
Don’t Try to Dress It Up And Don’t Take Them To Their Favorite Places
Too often, parents try to create fun before delivering bad news. This can even include taking them to their favorite places or getting them their favorite foods. The reality is, they are probably always going to remember that kind of life-changing news and that includes where they were or what they were doing when they heard it.
By associating your news with their favorite things, you may actually be ruining those things for them forever. Understand that the news you have to deliver is hard and painful and don’t try to dress it up and make it pretty. You don’t have to be hard, cold or callous, but you should be honest and direct.
Delivering painful news to children is never easy, but it has to be done. This is particularly true in situations where attorneys need to become involved. In fact, involving a family law firm early in any kind of domestic situation can help make already painful situations less difficult. Whether you are facing divorce, abuse or any other kind of ugly domestic situation, attorneys can often make many ugly proceedings go much smoother.
Hopefully this advice will help guide you if you find yourself having to explain a tough situation to your children. Remember that your children’s health, happiness, and well-being is what matters most, so be sure to keep their best interests in mind as you work through whatever you need to work through.
