If you recently learned of a friends’ engagement and received an invite to an engagement party, you might be uncertain of the protocol. Unlike wedding showers, stag and does, and baby showers, the formalities associated with engagement parties are slightly unclear, and many guests are left wondering whether they’re expected to bring gifts. And if so, what price range is acceptable?
The short answer? Yes. Gifts are warmly accepted by the newly engaged couple in the vast majority of cases. However, if you’re trying to stick to a budget, you needn’t worry, because the expectation is that gifts are not particularly ornate or expensive. The engagement party is only one of many parties that will take place before the wedding itself, so you aren’t expected to give the couple a huge gift.
Etiquette and expectations
Typically, the bride’s family throws the first party, with her parents footing the bill for either a lavish or laid-back party to celebrate her recent engagement. That said, some couples may choose to involve both of their families to save money or simply due to personal preference. Parties that are co-hosted are generally a bit less formal, and may take place at a bar or other venue rather than the bride’s parents’ living room. Either way, the cocktails will be flowing.
Some couples keep the guest list exclusive, choosing to invite only close friends and family, while other engagement parties might leave you wondering why the groom’s father’s business associate is mingling with the couple’s college friends. In any case, if you are invited to an engagement party, expect to meet a lot of new people.
How much should you spend?
Tradition has changed slightly over the past few decades, and nowadays there are no hard-and-fast rules that dictate the guest list, attire, or gift price. Millennials often choose to be thriftier and more carefree when it comes to planning their weddings in general, so it makes sense that a modern-day engagement party might come with less strings attached.
Consider the expenses associated with the upcoming bachelor or bachelorette party, the wedding registry, and the burgundy bridesmaid dresses that will be worn once and then never again. An engagement party gift is really only a small formality. For most couples, your presence at the celebration will be far more greatly appreciated than any material item you could offer.
Consider their tastes
If you know the couple well, don’t be afraid to buy a quirky or fun gift that celebrates their unique personalities, rather than something impersonal like a bottle of wine or champagne. In fact, this is the perfect time to go rogue and surprise your friends with a gift they truly wouldn’t expect. Wedding registry gifts are a slightly more serious obligation that you, as the guest, are expected to take into consideration when making your purchase.
What does the couple enjoy to do together? What are their interests and hobbies? If your friends are the first ones to sample new blends at the local roastery, consider some unique gifts for coffee lovers. If the couple’s dream vacation is to a European city full of beautiful architecture, a stunning piece of wall art might be a worthwhile choice. If they already share a home together, a gift basket of toiletries including artisanal hand soaps and organic skincare products will make them happy.
On the other hand, if you’ve been invited to a distant relative’s engagement party or you simply don’t know the couple’s aesthetic preferences very well, you can’t go wrong with a traditional engagement party gift such as a personalized wall hanging or engraved champagne flute.
