Read about the challenges that can occur when you care for an elderly spouse and how to know when it is time to seek help.
One in ten people in the UK are family carers and three in five people in the UK will be carers at some point in their lives. Family caregivers could be caring for an elderly parent, for a disabled child, or perhaps for an elderly spouse.
Caring for an elderly spouse is rewarding in many ways and challenging in many ways. The benefits include being able to stay with your spouse, rather than them having to move into care homes. The Live-in Care Hub 2019 Better At Home report found that 97% of people do not want to go into care homes if they need care, so giving the gift of your loved one being able to stay at home is amazing. Caring for the person that you are committed to in a partnership is an amazing thing to do, and a testament to your commitment to their wellbeing, and staying side by side with them for life.
The Challenges Of Caring For An Elderly Spouse
There are lots of great aspects to caring for an elderly spouse, but it can be a very challenging position to be in. Here are some of the challenges associated with caring for an elderly spouse:
- You may have to make adjustments to your home
- You may find it physically and emotionally demanding
- You may find you have to miss out on certain freedoms related to everyday life
- You may find your relationship with your spouse adjusts and changes
- You may find it difficult to struggle with balancing out caring for your spouse with managing relationships with the rest of your family
All of the challenges above can be managed well if a person seeks support early-on and manages to find a way to put themselves first when they need to. However, caregiver burnout may occur anyway, or because support was not sought early enough. Caregiver burnout is where a person is totally emotionally and physically burnt out from their caregiver duties. Symptoms of caregiver burnout include:
- Comfort eating or not eating much
- A lack of interest in activities you enjoyed before
- Insomnia
- Fatigue
- A change in mood or changeable moods
- Physical aches and pains
- More likely to have colds or or other signs of being run down
- Withdrawing from those you love
If you think you might have burnout because of your position caring for your spouse, you must seek help. Speak to those closest to you and consider visiting your GP for help. You are entitled to respite care and it might be exactly what you need to recover.
It may be that despite respite care, or despite your best efforts, you are still struggling to provide the best possible care to your spouse. Perhaps a new medical challenge such as dementia or a stroke has occured with your partner, or perhaps with your own health. Maybe the physical and emotional demands are just too much. Maybe your relationship with your spouse is being challenged and you don’t want to lose what you had.
If things need to change, they can change. Please seek professional help so that you can get the support you need. You might be entitled to funding for live-in care, or domiciliary care where carers can visit, or stay with you to provide care to your spouse. This helps ensure your spouse is cared for and ensures your health and happiness is maintained as well.
If you need help, you could look into a private live-in care agency who can let you know the costs and services associated with private care. Alternatively, look into getting a care assessment and carer assessment to see how much funding and help you are entitled to.
Your position as a carer to your partner is incredible. However, if you need help, there is nothing wrong with admitting that. The healthier and happier you are (and remember you do deserve to be happy) the better a carer you are. If you are no longer able to provide care to your spouse 24/7 or, at all, that is OK too. Seek the support and help you deserve and reach out today.
