Going through a divorce is never easy. It’s particularly difficult if there are children involved. Depending on how young your children are, they might have a hard time understanding what’s going on. You want to be there for them as much as possible. It’s important that they know that they are not losing a parent in this process and that you will be there for them whenever they need you. Here are tips on how to be the best parent after a divorce.
Establish Custody
During the divorce process, you’ll need to be in as much communication as possible with your ex. This might be emotionally taxing, but it will be necessary in order for things to go through. Remembering that you still have a child with your spouse will help you look past your differences in the midst of the divorce process. During the divorce proceedings, you’ll need to establish custody.
Make sure that you can come to an agreement on how to raise your kids. If there are any disagreements, work through them civilly with a lawyer such as Johnson/Turner Legal. Just because you and your spouse are separating doesn’t mean you should express animosity towards one another. It’s healthy for your children to see both of you being civil seeing as this will be a hard process for them too. Be intentional about how you act around them.
Be Open with Your Children
You might feel a knee-jerk urge to put on a happy face and act like everything is okay for the sake of your children. However, kids are more perceptive than you might realize and will be able to sense something is amiss. As tactfully as possible, you should explain the situation to them. Make sure they know that it’s in no way their fault. If necessary, you should enroll them in divorce counseling so they can safely express their feelings.
Spend Time with Them
Divorce will be a huge adjustment, not only for yourself but also for your kids. In order to help you all transition as well as possible, you need to keep busy. Come up with fun outings and things to do that can be a distraction and create fond memories. Don’t dwell on negativity, as that will only make you feel worse. Instead, you should spend time with your kids doing fun activities. If they want to bring up the divorce, don’t silence them. It’s important for them to express their feelings to you.
Be Civil with Your Ex
If your ex was abusive to you and/or your children, then you have every right to cut them out of your lives entirely. However, if things were at least somewhat amicable, you should maintain that. You don’t want to create bad blood and hostility. This could create mixed emotions for your children, who feel their parents are pitted against one another.
We hope this has given you a great idea of how to be the best parent after a divorce. It will be a trying time. However, you can offer the proper support for both yourself and your children.
