Coping with grief can be painful and it’s hard to know what to do. It’s important to talk to people about how you’re feeling so that they can help you. There are many different ways people cope, such as talking about their feelings, taking time for themselves, or changing their routines.
Running a Buddhist funeral service in Singapore, we observe many grieving families. We even experience it ourselves.
Below, we dissect the stages of grief, as well as several methods you could adopt to “ungrief” yourself.
Coping with Grief in Different Stages
There are many ways to cope with grief in different stages. One way that has worked for me is to do things that remind me of the person and celebrate their life. However, grief moves in stages. Doing the things that remind of a person is done at the latest stage.
The first stage of grief is denial, which can be a challenge because it’s difficult to move on when we don’t want to let go of the person who died. We can deny death by refusing to accept it and by doing things that are familiar.
Coping with grief in different stages is about understanding what you’re going through, through both your emotions and your physical body, and allowing yourself time and space for all kinds of coping mechanisms including those that you may not have tried before.
The second stage of grief is often accompanied by feelings of intense pain and sadness. Despite what one may expect, this would rarely go away. Time and distraction is the best way to eliminate this. The subconscious needs time to consolidate your environment. Though this is different for everybody.
The third stage of grief is a person’s descent into anger and depression. One needs to remind themselves that the world ultimately doesn’t owe us anything. There is no proper justification for death, and vengeance may not do much good. One needs to understand that the world works in mysterious ways, and that your loved one’s passing will factually, not change.
Eventually, the final stages of grief dictates that one would accept their given circumstance. However, despite how trivial it might seem – ensuring that you are moving towards this stage is key to anyone looking to “ungrief” themselves!
Tips for Coping When You’re Feeling Sad
When you’re feeling sad, it can be difficult to find something that will bring you back to a positive mood. There are many ways to cope with sadness and these tips should help you feel better.
- Put Your Feelings into Words: Sometimes, it can be helpful to just put what you’re feeling into words. Write down why you’re feeling this way and how the sadness is impacting your life. Writing about feelings takes a lot of pressure off of them, they don’t seem so immense when written on paper. If writing doesn’t work for you, talking about your feelings with someone might help too.
- Talk It Out: Talking about your feelings and sadness is another great way to get over melancholy moods that come up from time to time. Many people find
Life is full of ups and downs. It is best to just accept the feeling and not try to fight it. Here are some additional tips for coping when you’re feeling sad:
– Seek out positive company. Being around people who are happy can help cheer you up.
– Listen to upbeat music. Listening to music that makes you feel good can help take your mind off of what’s bothering you.
– Medicate if needed, but be mindful about the side effects of medication and how it may affect your work performance, relationships, etc.
– Go outside for a walk or take a jog around the block. Exercise releases endorphins in the body which can make one feel happier and better about themselves
No One Understands the Pain You Feel Except You
When you are going through a difficult time, it is incredibly important to have someone there to understand what you are going through. Seek counselling if you need it.
Everyone needs someone they can talk to during hard times. It is important that we don’t let our mental health suffer during a difficult time and instead find someone who can provide support and understanding.
Conclusion: The first step to healing is your acceptance of reality.
We should never stop mourning the loss of someone we love. We can’t turn back time or bring them back but we can always remember them and cherish their memories.
One should, however, recognise that their current reality is different. We can honour the memories of their past – however, we must move forward and create new experiences with the remaining loved ones.
