As a parent, it’s normal and expected to put your children’s needs above your own. For parents, the instinct is to take care of everyone else before focusing on yourself, and that includes looking after your health.
Unfortunately, that kind of thinking comes with consequences. According to the American Psychological Association, 15% of mothers with kids ages 8-17 rated their stress level at a 10/10.
Mental and physical health tend to take a back seat when you have kids. That can lead to excessive stress, depression, anxiety, and a variety of physical health problems. But you can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first. You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, what can you do as a parent to maintain positive health – physically and mentally?
Make Mental Health a Priority
For many years, the stigma surrounding mental health conditions kept people from understanding symptoms of anxiety and depression. Worse, it kept people from getting the help they deserve. As a parent, it’s extremely important to make your mental health a priority. That starts with understanding when there might be a problem. Some of the most common signs of depression include:
Feelings of sadness
Loss of interest
Fatigue
Changes in sleeping/eating habits
Depression can lead to thoughts of self-harm or even suicide. A 2010 study found that 7,000-12,000 children in the U.S. lose a parent to suicide every year. Your stress and mental health issues can have a greater impact on your children than you may realize. Children are very perceptive, and if your mental health changes your parenting style, it could cause a vicious cycle of your child developing mental health issues of their own.
Many women face postpartum depression without getting the help they need, and it can trigger a long battle with mental health issues if it isn’t addressed. Having access to a reproductive psychiatrist is a great place to start for new mothers. If your kids are older, talking to a personal therapist, counselor, or family therapist can help. Don’t ignore any red flags associated with your mental health. Taking care of your mental state now will make your symptoms easier to manage.
Find Your Support System
The old saying that it takes a village to raise a child really is true. You might be “Super Mom or Dad,” but you can’t do everything on your own when it comes to your children’s upbringing. It’s important to feel supported, especially as a new parent. But, even as your children get older, knowing you’re not alone will make a big difference in your mental health and can allow you to spend more time taking care of your physical health, too.
Simply put, you deserve a break. Your children will benefit from the break, too, and it will teach them how to interact and socialize with other people.
If you’re not sure where to look for support, consider the following:
Family
Friends
Co-workers
Community
Parent support groups
If you live in a small community, it’s often easier to form a close-knit support group. But, be careful with the kind of information you give out. Small communities have a lot of benefits, but one of the “cons” is that everyone knows you and might be quick to give out advice, start gossip, or spread rumors. Your support group should be made of people you can trust.
Don’t be afraid to take advantage of services, too. They’re designed to make your life easier and give you the professional support you need in raising your child. From websites to apps to delivery services, it’s okay to take off your super cape once in a while to get some help.
Get Moving
Most people automatically associate exercise with physical health. That’s true, of course. There are countless physical benefits to an active lifestyle. But, staying active plays a bigger role in your mental health than you might realize.
Exercising can help to reduce the effects of depression, anxiety, and stress. It’s a natural mood-booster, can improve your energy levels, and even boosts self-esteem. There’s a reason people often refer to a post-exercise bout of happiness as a “runner’s high.” The serotonin released in your brain during physical activity makes you feel happier and more alert.
Because exercising gives you more energy and can improve your focus, you can actually be more involved and “in the moment” as a parent.
If you feel like you don’t have any time to get in a good workout, know that you don’t have to go to the gym. Working out at home in the mornings or evenings will give you incredible results. Or, you can make regular exercise a family affair by going on a nightly walk with everyone. Exercise is just as much for mental health as physical. It’s a wonderful form of self-care, and it can make you a more focused parent.
Although it’s tempting to take care of everyone else first, you’re not doing yourself – or them – any favors with that mindset. Keep these ideas in mind to maintain positive mental health as a parent. Not only will you feel better than ever, but you’ll be able to take care of everyone else more effectively, too.
